Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
