i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
