I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
