You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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