I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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