if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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