in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this just has baby written all over it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
