Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize