I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
