would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
