butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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