i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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