what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
