Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
