Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
