Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
