oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
