I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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