dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
