Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
