and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
