I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
