i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
