Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
