Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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