Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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