Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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