Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
