Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we're making bets on your personal life
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
