By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
