He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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