There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
