I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
