I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
