Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
