i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
