ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize