Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
