yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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