I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my being single is dangerous.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
