Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
