hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
