There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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