Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize