just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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