Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
