he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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