Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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