Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
