Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
