it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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