Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
