Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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