dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
