This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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