But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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