he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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