why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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