YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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