I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
