Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That's intense
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
