I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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