It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
