dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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