The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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